So this weekend was truly one for the books.....
I was absolutely sure that I wanted to sleep through this weekend but there was a million and one things that my family was supposed to do so I decided I would buck up and get er done at all costs....
Starting Friday evening about 11 when I decided i would in fact check my email before going to bed. amongst all the junk and jokes there was an email announcing that I had won a private concert with the Jonas Brothers and could bring along one person I was bummed, why hadn't I gotten this email sooner so I could have made plans...
but as it stood we were set to go to the Air Field for a weekend of being the typical military family and honoring the base and the jets that would be flying together for the last time. The hotel was reserved and bags were packed and even if that weren't enough who would keep baby boy if I decided to not be the good military wife...
Hubby astounded me when he announced that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity for our daughter and we would make it happen ( serious moment of awwe and recolection of the man I had once fallen in love with, eye twinkling*** maybe there is hope)
So we proceed to work it out we will go Saturday and make our appearance and then Sunday we will leave from the base back to Indy drop off hubby and baby boy to spend some time with one of our favorite nephews and baby girl and I will head to the concert !!!!! WEEEEE So I woke baby girl up and told her and I felt sure she would think she was dreaming when she woke the next day but all was well...
Saturday morning up at 5ish AM and showered, kids up in their pjs bags packed into the car, hubby in uniform and a 2 hour drive to the base...not so much fun but we made it...
We spent the day at the base a breakfast in the break room with all the Crew Cheifs....ALLL of these guys and I do mean everysingle one of them have to change jobs, transfer units, or retire...talk about bitter sweet! Next hubby has to work and the kids and I head out to do some exploring we go see their favorite guy in the tire shop who makes the coolest paper F16s and it becomes real to them that this is a life changing day because he informs us that he is taking early retirement...the kids were stoked about the bases new mission until this point and then they weren't too sure. So we headed off in another direction to look at all the uncommissioned planes, peak in on the FRG (family readiness group) meeting, where they asked me if it would be helpful for deployed spouses to get a phone call once a month...gee ppl do ya think and yes it would have been nice last year...breathe don't growl we all live and learn and so yes I tell them it would be a wonderful idea...off to lunch with hubby in the chow hall..steak and shrimp and a reminder that all positions on the base are filled with ppl in training and those boys on the grill really needed to go back to culinary school cause our steaks were burnt...I paid $6.10 for burnt steak I was bummed .... but it was off for more festivities the kids had an obstacle course and jumpy houses and a batting cage ...about the time they were worn out it was time for the jets to do their stuff...they flew over wing to wing and that was awesome then each one did their own little show....i swear one of them actually looked as if it were taking a bow it was so sureal...like i have seen these jets a million and one times but this was like seeing them for the first time...it also means our life is changing once again so the misty eyes but I didn't cry....the kids played in a black hawk helicopter while I watched these jets take their turns with their final moment in our history....then I watched all the crew cheifs poor beer all over themselves....OK? LOL it was their final moment together as well and I suppose if that's how they want to spend it then so be it....We met up with hubby and headed to the hanger to listen to the State General (I don't know his official title he is the head of the National Guard in our state and I know he is a general LOL) There were 3000 ppl in this hanger and it starts to lightning and rain so they locked us in...NO I AM NOT KIDDING...if there is lighting within 3 miles everyone has to stay put so here we were...we hung out in the break room and as soon as they gave us a pass we had enough and headed out before the lighting showed up again...we went to the hotel had some supper and let the kids swim in the rain....
By this time baby girl became a spastic mess...talking about a million miles an hour and sqeaking as she did so...we finally got her calm about 11 pm and got some much needed sleep...
Then up again at 6 am to get prepped for the concert...had a quick hotel breakfast and bags packed and hubby's stinking uniform packed in a plastic bag just in case we caught pulled over so no one thought we had been drinking...an hour and a half drive, hubby and baby boy dropped off, a twenty minute drive, a 20 minute walk and a 30 minute wait in line and there we were inside the Emmis Communications bldg about to hear the Jonas Brothers I thought my baby girl was truly going to pass out!!!!!! She took 27 really bad pics but she is so happy and I met another mom who took my email address and promised to send the digital pics she took ( my camera died an early death at the picnic in the rain so baby girl was rockin a disposable) We did get autographs and they played 3 songs 2 of which baby girl absolutely prayed they would... I asked if I got to be mom of the year for at least a couple of days and I was promised at least a couple of months...we shall see how that works out...Baby boy wasn't even too mad that he didn't get to go when we presented him his autographed picture ... so all in all I think it went pretty well
Then I got to spend some time with my little brother (who is like a foot taller than me) and my sis in law and my baby nephew who is just the absolute most adorable little man right next to my little man of course....all in all I think it was a totally cram packed full to the brim amazing weekend!! Hubby actually smiled and seemed to enjoy being around ppl who weren't wearing uniforms and made some decisions and it was great! I have always hated this time of year and over the last few years more so than ever but I suppose if you let it eventually life goes on the memories come and go and we get to chose how we let them make us feel...this weekend I allowed myself to be happy even when my thoughts were else where for a bit and I guess that is probably how it should be!! Much love all and grateful blessings...have a great week Kwick

tears....
have no purpose
yet they invade
nothing much is right
nothing wrong
something between us
distance of echoing memories
shattered dreams
broken promises
void of expectations
empty disappointment
not even a loveless kiss
a cold fake touch
occasional glances
undeceitful smiles
a cracked heart
flooding with nothing
invasion of purposeless
tears......


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In a perfect world
Our children would know only Joy
The would be allowed to remain innocent
They would not fear or worry
The would be surrounded by unconditional love
In a perfect world
A Mother's kiss could heal all wounds
A father's presence would bring comfort
And parents really would know best

Please God bring sanity to the maddness of this imperfect world and Protect our children

Grateful Blessings!
Kwick

Baby girl just left with her dad....hubby is completely annoyed with him...I am too but that is nothing new...
Hubby complains about him and his parenting skills and I just have to let it all roll....
I have baby girl's dad for the most part. He was emotionally abusive and hugely controlling while we were married. For 7 years he took me to court wether I needed it or not for custody of baby girl and once he finished school and got a good job and a nice house he finally got it. There were extenuating cricumstances that I used for a long time to blame every one else and I probably did get a raw deal..bottom line though is had I not moved so many times and divorced and remarried hubby then my stability would not have been able to be questioned!! so that is on me. Irregardless I did appeal due to the extenuating circumstances and the appeals court said the judge could have decided in my favor but there was no precedent to say he had to decide in my favor...fine. I quit fighting.
Baby girl is fine with the fact that I quit fighting. I told her if she ever decides she wants to come back home let me know and I will do everything in my power to make it so but no more court battles and calling CPS on each other and all the drama!
But days like today make me wanna pull my hair out and I wonder if I am doing the right thing by waiting and following her lead.
There are no drugs and no physical abuse that I am aware of and she is definately fed and spoiled rotten...
But yesterday her older step sister was supposed to watch her. Baby girls dad went to an auction and din't get home until 9 pm. Step sis didn't come home from school so baby girl was left without supervision for 5 hours!!! She did call her dad and get permission to go to a friends house but geesh what if she hadn't!! ?? Then he gets here 2 hours late tonight claiming traffic jam for a wreck or something...he has never been that late before so I suppose I believe him. It just makes me wanna scream though...if you are too busy to pay attention to what our 10 year old daughter is doing then why did you bother taking her in the first place. But I know the answer to that it is about control...she is the only way he could get back at me for not loving him enough!! I do believe that he loves her in his own way but he is definately an odd controlling ass of a man!!
I just feel guilty I think sometimes because life is so much calmer now without all the drama and I really don't have enough money to begin another court battle with him ...so I wonder if I am making excuses. On the other had I think to lose everything fighting for her to come here if it isn't what she wants would be more damaging to the relationship I have with her and wouldn't do any of us any good. I hate being the resposible grown up one in all this!! I just want my daughter to be happy even if it means she doesn't live here for now and I really think that some day she is gonna come home I just hope he doesn't break her heart in the process..
Grateful Blessings!
kwick

I have lots of nieces and nephews...most of them I see a couple of times a year because of how far away we all live.
I have one set of nieces that live just 20 minutes south of here and my sister in law works in town....since I am of course a stay at home mom anytime she has a baby sitting issue she calls me. It has begun to annoy me because I realized that the ONLY time I hear from her is when she needs me to watch the girls...well actually hubby brought it to my attention. Any way for a long time we have had a somewhat rocky relationship and that is another blog in and of itself but I am afraid I think to tell her no for fear that if I don't serve a purpose for her she will just stay out of my life. Wow that sucks to say outloud!! There usually isn't much of an issue but my youngest neice is 10 months old and moving around...my baby is almost 7 so my house is far from baby proof and I really have no desire to make it so but when she needs me to keep her it is usually for 12 hours at a time that is a LONG time to stay right on top of a kid!! I think I am just having an issue with making the decision of what I want more...to keep spending time with my nieces or to not have to worry about what she puts in her mouth for 12 hours!! There are times that I don't answer the phone when my sis in law calls just so I don't have to deal with telling her no!! that is bad and cowardly I know!! Anyway I just needed to vent a little with my feet dipped in the stream!! Have a great day!!
Grateful Blessings!
Kwick