There are so many emotions at this time or year. Ranging from anxiety, to joy! I miss the magic. I am not sure at what point it went away but I do know that it is definitely gone. Bittersweet is the best word I have to describe Christmas time. I have a hard time relating good memories to Christmas but I have always loved the lights and the decorations and still insist that my tree gets up as close to Thanksgiving as my husband can stomach. I think a few years back I left my tree up until close to Valentines Day and that probably wasn’t the first time.
This year things seemed to be relatively calm and aside from Santa not bringing the one toy my baby boy wanted (which was way out of his age range) everything was going relatively smooth. My husband’s family has a tradition of meeting at a truck stop about 20 miles south of here. On our way we met with an accident that was horrible. I don’t have much to say about it right now other than thank God we were running late and God help the families of those involved.
Still I set next to my Christmas tree all lit up and lights that haven’t worked all year suddenly lit up today. My son squealed with excitement while he played with all the toys that Santa did bring him. Simple joys everywhere for us!! We still have 2 Christmas parties on Friday and Saturday so there are still plenty of wrapped presents under the tree.
I have spent today sorting my thoughts and trying to purge my mind of a Christmas disaster that at least one man will never forget.
With all that has been going on in our lives I suppose something like this can make you stop to think of what is really important. My husband still has no idea what he wants career wise and I don’t know what that means for us. I know we love each other I am just not sure that is enough for him. We have been both distant and close over the last few months. And I am sure he is dealing with more than I know. I want to change the channel any time there is something on the news about the war but he just wants to watch it all!!
Today I am grateful that my family is all relatively happy and healthy! We have our quirks and kinks that will work out the way they do. I have learned to live in the moment for the most part and that helps to keep me sane!
New Year’s has traditionally been my favorite holiday and that is the holiday my daughter has chosen to be home this year!! I hope that my thoughts will be more upbeat next time. Until then!!
Here is hoping that you and yours are safe and happily together this holiday season!!!
Much love and grateful blessings,
Kwick

myspace generators

Hosted By SparkleTags.com

Have a greatful blessed holiday season!!!
Much love, Kwick

So I think that men are sometimes completely clueless!! (everyone of them except my daddy of course)

Hubby has been home from Iraq for a little over 2 months. I think he got used to not living with his family because he now stays in a hotel 2 hours away and comes home on the weekends. He is on Leave of Duty Orders but still has to report to the base everyday. I don't know exactly what all that means or how long it will last and neither does he...or so he says. I think it will last until he decides otherwise until he thinks he is ready to return to civilian life and tells his therapist so.

Anyway like I said he comes home on weekends....brings his laundry...he never mentions it just sets it in the dining room chair..and picks it up there when he leaves again. He must think that magical little fairies come in and do it while we sleep. His orders end on the 28th of this month. So I ask him what then. I don't know he replies I will probably get them extended. I ask him if he is going to take the job they offered him while he was over seas. Oh no I don't think so.

Later hours later while we are driving in the car he says to me "I got called in the Chief's office yesterday." and then nothing. I have to ask "WHY". "oh he got a call from Andrews Air Force Base" again I ask "WHY" . "They need a crew chief and I was offered the position"

I am in shock. First off we just bought our house 2 years ago and are just about to finish the first remodel project (I THINK) secondly I made it clear along time ago that I am not in for being one of those military families who move all over the place. Thirdly I am lonely enough without having to move away from the family and friends I have. And our kids....HELLO. My daughter lives 40 minutes North of here which is way to far away. And we have been told that our son has probably got Asperger's Syndrom which means strict routines or he just loses it!! At the very least he has Severe Adjustment Disorder let's just pack him up and move him half way across the country!!!!

I don't say anything as my husband continues to describe the position and how there would be a pay raise and what a great opportunity it would be how many doors it would open....all the while I am thinking how many doors it would be closing and I can't stop it the tears just come. He actually says " I wonder how long of a commute it would be" Like I am going to be able to commute to see my dauther or he is going to live there and commute home on the weekends.

Oh no I would never he says. I am soo confused at this point why bring it up. He was just making coversation. But he didn't tell them no he just said he would discuss it with me. I ask him if he had no intention of taking the job then why not say I'm honored but no thanks. I know my husband and I wonder if he hasn't already taken the job and just hasn't got the nerve to say so. All I have to say is that would be one lonely long ass commute!!!!

Have a great night! Much love,
Kwick

I have written this once already and I am sure this won't be the masterpiece it was the first time but hopefully the message gets across

I often times find myself saying I just can't take this anymore!

Many days I wake up and think I would just love to stay here buried under my covers.

This time of year brings up so many things that I would rather not feel. Most of the time I think this will be the year that I just crack. Although I have reached that point before ... the one where you think it can't get any worse...and if you believe it's true then say it outloud and somehow someway it usually does get worse. The pain of mistakes the longing for this and that the need that continuosly goes unmet that job that you are just stuck in for lack of better situations and a necessity to pay the bills.

I was fortunate in having a teacher once upon a time (whose name and face escapes me) who told our class a story (that most of the details are faded) that taught me a valuable lesson.

I heard the story awhile ago so it must have happened awhile longer than that...
There was an Indian man who wanted to run a marathon...
He was not a trained athlete and this was very hard on him...
He began to get worn down and told himself one more lap and I'll quit..
that lap came and went and again he told himself just one more lap and I'll quit..
He went on like this for the entirety of the marathon and eventually won the whole thing...
For me I took this story and of course cried ( I usually do when I have those pivotal moments) and then told myself always one foot in front of the other!!
And there are days that I think how did I make it through but I truly know it is because I continued with one foot in front of the other!!
So one more day and then I quit all the while putting one foot in front of the other...

Much love and grateful blessings!!

Kwick

Dear Children,

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are
taking my name out of the season. Maybe you've forgotten that I wasn't
actually born during this time of the year and that it was some of
your
predecessors who decided to celebrate my birthday on what was actually
a time of pagan festival - although I do appreciate being remembered
anytime.

How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most
easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children
of your own.
I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate my birth
just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER. Now, having said that let me go
on.

If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a
scene
depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and
snowmen
and put a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn. If all my
followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the
town square because there would be many of them all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a
holiday
tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You
can
& may remember me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if
you
wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching explaining who I am
in
relation to you and what each of our tasks are. If you forgot that
one,
look up John 15: 1 - 8.

If you want to give me a present in remembrance of my birth here is my
wish list. Choose something from it.

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way my birthday
is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away
from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I
know because they tell me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them
personally.
They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing George complaining about the wording on the
cards
his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that
you'll be praying for him and his family this year? Then follow up. It
will be nice hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and
they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of my
birth, and why I came to live with you here. Hold them in your arms
and
remind them that I love them.

5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.

6 Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take his or
her own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless?
Since
you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm
smile it could make the difference.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls
the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a
warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a
"Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then
stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money
on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home
with their families.

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary,
especially one who takes my love & good news to those who have never
heard My name. You may already know someone like that.

9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your
town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they
have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them (and I
suspect you
don't) buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Marines, the
Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in me. They will
make the delivery for you.

10 Finally if you want to make a statement about your belief in and
loyalty to me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret
that you wouldn't do in my presence. Let people know by your actions
that you are one of mine.

Love, Jesus

P.S. Don't forget; I am God and can take care of myself. Just love me
and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest.
Check out the list above then get to work; time is short. I'll help
you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed
Christmas with all those whom you love and remember, I LOVE YOU.