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Burnin the Wick at both ends


 Being the grown up sucks....
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Baby girl just left with her dad....hubby is completely annoyed with him...I am too but that is nothing new...
Hubby complains about him and his parenting skills and I just have to let it all roll....
I have baby girl's dad for the most part. He was emotionally abusive and hugely controlling while we were married. For 7 years he took me to court wether I needed it or not for custody of baby girl and once he finished school and got a good job and a nice house he finally got it. There were extenuating cricumstances that I used for a long time to blame every one else and I probably did get a raw deal..bottom line though is had I not moved so many times and divorced and remarried hubby then my stability would not have been able to be questioned!! so that is on me. Irregardless I did appeal due to the extenuating circumstances and the appeals court said the judge could have decided in my favor but there was no precedent to say he had to decide in my favor...fine. I quit fighting.
Baby girl is fine with the fact that I quit fighting. I told her if she ever decides she wants to come back home let me know and I will do everything in my power to make it so but no more court battles and calling CPS on each other and all the drama!
But days like today make me wanna pull my hair out and I wonder if I am doing the right thing by waiting and following her lead.
There are no drugs and no physical abuse that I am aware of and she is definately fed and spoiled rotten...
But yesterday her older step sister was supposed to watch her. Baby girls dad went to an auction and din't get home until 9 pm. Step sis didn't come home from school so baby girl was left without supervision for 5 hours!!! She did call her dad and get permission to go to a friends house but geesh what if she hadn't!! ?? Then he gets here 2 hours late tonight claiming traffic jam for a wreck or something...he has never been that late before so I suppose I believe him. It just makes me wanna scream though...if you are too busy to pay attention to what our 10 year old daughter is doing then why did you bother taking her in the first place. But I know the answer to that it is about control...she is the only way he could get back at me for not loving him enough!! I do believe that he loves her in his own way but he is definately an odd controlling ass of a man!!
I just feel guilty I think sometimes because life is so much calmer now without all the drama and I really don't have enough money to begin another court battle with him ...so I wonder if I am making excuses. On the other had I think to lose everything fighting for her to come here if it isn't what she wants would be more damaging to the relationship I have with her and wouldn't do any of us any good. I hate being the resposible grown up one in all this!! I just want my daughter to be happy even if it means she doesn't live here for now and I really think that some day she is gonna come home I just hope he doesn't break her heart in the process..
Grateful Blessings!
kwick
Posted by Kwick at 9:09 PM - 3 Comments   Add a Comment  
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Comments:

Looking ahead 10 years from now where do you think baby girl might be living Kwick? Right now living with her dad seems to be working out for her and the rest of your family. Who of us that live here below knows where she might be living next year at this time. But it is my belief that prayer changes things (not always the way we would like) and that if it is his will she will remain with her father, if not she will live with you. That she knows you love and care for her is most critical at this time in her life. If she sees you at peace with the way things are, she will be at peace and able to assess her own situation both intelligently and with great love for you. What gift from God is better than to have the love of a child? Hope yours is a wonderful day Kwick.....ochoco  
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by ochoco (PM , CC ) on Thursday August 30, 2007 @ 2:42 PM




Well said Ochoco - I agree as well - if you're at peace then she will be too. You are under a lot of pressure and tension here, but I think you are handling it beautifully! You go girl!!  
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by Paige (PM , CC ) on Thursday August 30, 2007 @ 2:46 PM




Kwick...I know how you are feeling...I would be wringing my hands, also. I do believe there will come a time when she will want to live with you and I think that you ARE doing the right thing. All the drama only makes it worse. As long as she understands what you are doing, then it is fine. All you can do is watch and pray as you are. You are a good mom and she knows you love her and care.  
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by HeatherScot (PM , CC ) on Friday August 31, 2007 @ 12:37 PM


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   
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Author: Kwick
From Indiana, USA
Age: 32
 
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